Funny Short Jokes

Find the best quick hilariously funny jokes that are easy to remember.

Wifes Birthday

in Relationship Jokes
+12 -22

Last year my wife was furious that I missed her birthday, and insisted that in future I should plan at least two months in advance. Well it’s her birthday in 8 weeks time, and I’m pleased to say I’ve already bought her her present. She’s going to love these flowers.

HC Hammer

in Disabled Jokes
+8 -16

I wonder if the lyrics for MC Hammer’s song are available in braille?

Ships

in General Jokes
+9 -11

F*ck the ships!!

My lighthouse, my rules.

Read Minds

in Dirty Jokes
+27 -16

If women could read minds men would get slapped every 2 seconds.

Alcohol Intake

in General Jokes
+10 -19

The Doctor looked me squarely in the eye. “You seriously need to reduce your alcohol intake or you’ll ruin what’s left of your liver completely.” “Fuck off, Doc,” I replied. “You always say that when it’s your round. Get the beers in, you tight cunt.”

Dry Skin

in General Jokes
+15 -25

Finally managed to cure my dry skin problem, I’ve stopped using towels.