Just had the following conversation with my doctor after getting a health check.
Doctor: Don’t eat anything fatty
Me: What? You mean like bacon or burgers?
Doctor: No fatty!! Don’t eat anything.
Just had the following argument with the wife while out shopping:
Wife: Does this dress make me look fat?
Me: Do you promise not to get mad whatever I say?
Wife: Yes, sure.
Me: I f*cked your sister.
What is white and covers the streets first thing in the morning? Employed people.
Went to the doctors yesterday and told him that every time I drink coffee I get a stabbing pain in my right eye.
He advised me to take the spoon out of the cup.
My wife suggested we should try some role reversal in bed so I told her I have a headache.
Did you know that 85% of pie charts resemble Pacman?