I took a girl home the other night and while things were heating up I was hopelessly fumbling around trying to unclip her bra.
“Is this your first time?” She asked.
“No, you’re just the first one with with tits.”
I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me.
The fear of people to your right is dextrophobia.
The fear of having people to your left is anthropophobia.
And the fear of having people behind you is homophobia.
I told my parents today: “Mum, Dad… I’ve decided to live on my own from now on.” “Okay, cool,” they replied. “Your luggage is outside,” I added.
If someone sends you a link called ‘free porn’ dont opin it. It is a birus wich deactivates your spelcheck and fcuks up you riting. I also receibed it but lukily I dont uatch porn so I dint opin it. Plaese warm yu frends, wanks.
Shit I’ve survived:
Mad Cow Disease ✓
HIV Aids ✓
Bird Flu ✓
Swine Flu ✓