Best Short Jokes This Year

Collection of the best funny short jokes from this year sorted by user rating.

Friend App

in General Jokes
+34 -12

Just found an app that tells you if your friend is retarded.
It’s called Facebook.

Fact!

in General Jokes
+43 -21

People who say they’ve lost their voice are lying.

Pulled over

in General Jokes
+34 -13

Just been pulled over by police and tasered after the following conversation…

Police: Turn around.
Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming round.
Police: TURN AROUND!!
Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than EV(**Tasering starts**)AHHHH!

Shopping

in Relationship Jokes
+22 -1

Just had the following argument with the wife while out shopping:

Wife: Does this dress make me look fat?
Me: Do you promise not to get mad whatever I say?
Wife: Yes, sure.
Me: I f*cked your sister.

Stages of Life

in General Jokes
+28 -8

There are four stages in life:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

Dad

in Relationship Jokes
+34 -14

My dad never loved me as a child.
I can’t blame him really.
I wasn’t born until he was an adult.