People who say they’ve lost their voice are lying.
Just Googled “Gary Oldman” and some pretty disturbing images came up…
Then I realised I’d left the “R” out.
The following conversation took place between a mother and her son after school.
Mum: Your headmaster told me you used the C word in class today. That wasn’t clever was it?
Son: No, it was cunt!
Just had the following argument with the wife while out shopping:
Wife: Does this dress make me look fat?
Me: Do you promise not to get mad whatever I say?
Wife: Yes, sure.
Me: I f*cked your sister.
Had a beard growing competition over the weekend with one of my Indian friends from work.
My wife suggested we should try some role reversal in bed so I told her I have a headache.