I had a threesome last night.
Two people didn’t show up though, so I had to take matters into my own hands.
“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” is an awesome phrase.
But it’s a horrible way to find out you’re adopted. 🙁
Did you know that 85% of pie charts resemble Pacman?
The following conversation took place between a mother and her son after school.
Mum: Your headmaster told me you used the C word in class today. That wasn’t clever was it?
Son: No, it was cunt!
My sex life is like a Ferrari.
I don’t have a Ferrari.
My friend rang me and asked, “What’re you doing at the moment?”
I said, “Probably failing my driving test.”