A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.
Mexicans have been complaining recently about Trumps wall, they really need to get over it.
My wife asked me, “What did you buy me for valentines day?”
“Well,” I chuckled. “You see that pink Mercedes over there?”
“Yes,” she said happily.
“Well I bought you a toothbrush the same colour.”
They say one in every four men is gay, so there must be one in my group of friends.
I hope it’s Michael – he’s super cute.
My sex life is like a Ferrari.
I don’t have a Ferrari.
Did you know that 85% of pie charts resemble Pacman?