“Dad, how do you feel about abortions?”
“Well, why don’t you ask your sister?”
“But I don’t have a…”
Today I did that thing where you walk into a room and totally forgot what you went in for. It was only when the shit started running down my leg that I remembered
Just Googled “Gary Oldman” and some pretty disturbing images came up…
Then I realised I’d left the “R” out.
My dwarf friend committed suicide recently… He jumped off a curb.
Yo mama is so ugly she celebrates Halloween everyday.
There are four stages in life:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.