My wife said I was rude for yawning when she was shouting at me.
I told her I wasn’t yawning, I was just trying to speak.
Someone wrote “mong” on my car windshield last night.
It took me ages to lick it off.
My young daughter asked me this morning.
“Daddy, what were you and Mummy doing in the bedroom last night, I could hear a buzzing noise, then Mummy started to scream?”
“Nothing darling,” I replied.
It was then I burst out laughing as my wife walked down the stairs with her half shaved head.
If I ever got the chance to name a Road, I’d call it ‘Skin Road’
Just so I could laugh at the people who live at number 4.
Our new puppy’s been rolling around in its own shit.
That’s what I’m telling the wife anyway. Easier to explain than the fact that I ran out of toilet paper.
Just been diagnosed with chronic fear of giants… or Feefiphobia as my doctor calls it.